2:57 p.m. || October 19, 2006
Well...
The stress is kicking which will make certain things difficult to do (I'm sure you know what I mean...).
We're beginning another payroll dry spell. Hopefully it'll only be for this week. On top of that, our payroll service is calling every day, asking me when I'll have the money to wire to them for our payroll taxes (which are far too high if you ask me). I'm not the holder of the bank account, so I can't do a single thing. I talk to the boss and he's telling me that he's not going to pay them yet. I feel like I'm caught in the middle of this whole mess. I was beginning to think that I might just stay working here, but I seem to be starting to change my mind again.
Yesterday I had to re-install my entire computer. It was infected with something that was sending out phishing scam messages to the people on my buddy lists. I apologize to anyone on my yahoo! list that got a random link from me. If you fell for it, please go change your password to your account before it's too late. I hope no one thinks that I'm the one trying to steal passwords...'cause I'm not!
Yesterday I also found out that my last living grandparent was admitted to the hospital for internal bleeding and a deteriorating heart valve.
It hasn't even been a year since grandpa died. It's only been 6 months since grandma died. I don't want to lose my last grandparent. Grandma needs to live long enough so I can give her her first great grandchild.
She's been so down since grandpa died. She's emotionally and physically weak. I feel so bad because I haven't been able to visit her in a long time. I've been so caught up in my own problems that I've neglected her...
The guilt is almost unbearable. I'm probably overreacting, but I can't help it. I don't know if she's strong enough to want to recover. I'll bet more than anything that she wants to die and go see her husband. Next Thursday will be the anniversary of his death. It feels like it was just yesterday.
All this stress will not help me to conceive. It won't help me sleep, either.
Now I've gone and gotten myself all emotional.
I feel like pile of garbage. I'm sure I look like one, too. DH is going to try and ween himself off of his transdermal patch. If that doesn't go well, that's even more stress to deal with.
I hate you, stress! Go away already!
Tomorrow's Friday. That's one thing to look forward to.
Whelp, have a good day everyone!
Baby dust!
New Location - October 18, 2007
Be Still, My Soul - September 17, 2007
Just leave already - September 16, 2007
Changes...I hate them (well, most of them, anyway) - September 14, 2007
Funky Love - September 12, 2007
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