I just love it how I prepare myself for the worst, only to feel like a doofus when it doesn't go anywhere near the way I thought it would. Okay, I don't love it, but I do it all the time and I don't realize it until after what I'm worried about goes by. I guess by doing that I'm not allowing myself to get disappointed. It does make me sound like a real downer, though.

The visit to church and to see my family went just fine. My parents and I had a nice chat about my brother and SIL's recent loss. My mom didn't think I was being unreasonable at all and she thinks that I'm doing the right thing by giving her space. She just wants me to make sure that I do let her know that I'm thinking about her.

So I think I'll leave a comment on her myspace everyone once in a while...just until we start talking. I'll even send her a random thinking of you card. I don't want to force myself on her. I'm sure I'm one of the last people she wants to talk to right now.

My mom did say that while she visited her, my SIL said something about loving me and my baby. I think she's upset about the friendship thing, too. Something in my wants to just drive over to her house, give her a big hug, and just let her stay there and cry (I'd probably cry, too). I know she's suffered the biggest loss, but I also feel like I've lost a friend and my niece/nephew. I really do hope they try again soon...

I have handbell practice tonight at the church. I had handbell practice on Wednesday, too. So far we've practiced "Father We Adore You" and "Wonderful Grace of Jesus". The first one, we ring the bells. The second one, we use mallots. Mallets? Mallots? I think it's mallets. Okay. For "Wonderful Grace of Jesus" we use mallets. It's my favorite so far. We didn't play it when I was in the choir before, so it's fun to learn a new song. My mom is a hoot! She gets so wound up during practice. I rarely see her that way. She starts doing some kind of butt dance that cracks the rest of us up so much that we can't even play.

After practice, my little bro is following me home so he can clean up the gutted piano tomorrow. He actually told me that he likes hanging out with us.

Say what?!

He and I did not get along when we were younger. Up until recently, he was still pretty cruel. I don't know what happened, but he must have enjoyed the last time he stayed the night (it was only about a week ago or so). I'm glad he likes our company. I must admit that out of anyone who has spent the night at our house, he's the most pleasant. He said that he likes that we can talk while he's over, since we kind of botched that when we were little.

What a change!

He's always been a little protective, though. Any time my heart was broken, he wanted to beat up whoever did it. So some part of him loved me. I guess we were too immature to really grasp it quite yet. He got on my a couple days ago about one of the surveys I filled out on myspace. It was a bunch of girly questions. He asked me why I posted it publicly and don't I think they're too personal?

N.O.

Two questions were about periods...one asked if I'm on it and the other asked if I eat chocolate during it. One question was about PMS. One question was about the color of my bra. The other 46 questions were about make-up and guys and blah blah blah. I can only assume that the bra and period questions made him uncomfortable.

I hate to say it, but I hear women talking about their periods all the time, and they don't really care who's around. I don't want to be ashamed because I have a period (or I used to) because it's natural! I don't necessarily want people to know when I'm having it, but I don't feel awkward talking about it. As for the bra question, it's not like it asked the size of my bra...just the color. Nowadays you can usually see the color of someone else's bra for yourself if you really wanted to just because there's always a strap showing!

So I simply told him that there are worse surveys that I don't complete and that the one I filled out didn't strike me as bad.

And that was that. :o) Not to mention, it was entitled "Girly Survey" which should've clued him in that there were probably questions related to female issues in there.

Oh well. I guess that's it. I wish I could snuggle up with one of my kitties and take a nap right now...

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