I'll probably be locking up certain entries in this diary because some people want to see my youtube videos...but there are links to this diary on the video page. So rather than completely locking up, I'll just make certain entries private. The password combo will be the same as the one for my baby diary. I'll add a private entries link whenever I finally do this.

DH has been so...gosh I can't think of the correct word for it. Jerk-ish?

Last night he told me that with the way I've been acting toward him, he doesn't think that having a baby is a good idea and that he doesn't think we'll stay together at this point.

What the heck?

I tried to tell him that I'm acting so not-me-like lately because of this pregnancy. Mood swings are pretty common from what I remember. And the whole sex topic... jeeze.

He's never going to understand and I figure if he wants to leave me, he'll not talk about it and just do it. I'm sure he's had this discussion already with his parents and I HOPE that they can convince him of the things I've already tried telling him. His mom had 3 children and from what I heard, her mood swings were much much worse.

So anyway, I slept in late, so I wound up working from home today. After doing a few hours of work, I decided to go outside and do some lawn work. I went to the back ditch and picked up all the trash...or as much as I could see.

Well, first let me say that I was letting that ditch become overgrown because I wanted trees eventually to grow up on their own and block our view from the neighbors behind us. I'm sure it would have worked eventually, but all that was happening is more trash was getting caught in the weeds (not our trash, either...ahem) and it just looked bad.

So after I picked up the trash, I mowed the lawn and I mowed through most of the weeds...until the lawnmower got stuck. In all that time, DH came out and weedwacked around the house.

I came inside and asked DH to help me get the lawnmower moving again...and I semi-jokingly added that maybe HE could finish mowing the ditch.

Mowing it scares me, to be honest. I hate mowing on hills. I have a rediculous fear that the lawnmower will flip over.

He grumbled about it, but he eventually got up and put some clothes on to mow. I asked him if he was mad, and he said no. But he tells me that I don't do enough.

I don't do enough?!

He explained that the last time the ditch was mowed, it was when he did it a couple years. I've told him numerous times of what my plan was for the ditch.

How convenient that he forgets...

Anyway, he told me that I need to rake the grass clippings away from the house.

Fine. I did it.

And then I got to work on weeding the front flower beds.

Mind you, this is a lot of work for me to be doing while being pregnant and so tired all the time, and I honestly think that I've been doing a good job!

After he finished mowing, he came up while I was still in the middle of weeding and he told me that the back ditch needs to be raked up. I told him that he could do it, and of course he said he wouldn't.

He was "coding" that the back ditch needs to be raked by ME.

I told him that after I finished weeding, I was finished doing yardwork for the day. I have the beginnings of blisters on my hands from mowing and raking.

He just came back inside from trying to fertilize and water the yard...and he wants me to finish. I declined. I told him before that I am finished and I'm sticking to it.

I don't know why he's being so mean to me. Despite how I'm feeling, I try to do as much as I can. It wasn't up until a few nights ago that he actually took it upon himself to finish the dishes. Before that, the dishes had piled up so much that I did three loads and still didn't have all of the dishes clean.

He doesn't do a blasted thing around here. Maybe he'll weedwack the yard 2 or 3 times during the summer. Maybe he'll fertilize the yard one day. Throw in a load of dishes here or there and that's it.

I'm so tired of being unappreciated.

I kind of hope that the doctor says I can't fly out to San Diego next week. It would be so nice to have a week to myself without him being so snooty.

I'm going to go shower...I'm filthy.

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