Both my mother-in-law and I are upset with Dad T. When he responded to my e-mail, he sent it to her, too. I guess he thought that she'd be on his side, but instead she took my side. I wasn't trying to get anyone angry or make anyone feel guilty with what I wrote, but I guess everyone's reaction to it (with the exception of one person) is in my favor.

He tried to explaint to DH that he was only talking about that 1 day (the day we thought he would be transferred...and he was!). His wording didn't say that to me. And by golly, it was one day! And it's not like he was saying that since I took that one day off when I didn't need to, it would be counted as a sick day and the rest wouldn't. All of the days I take off are taking away my vacation/sick days. I don't think I really have a choice when I want paid or unpaid leave, either.

I've only used 2 days so far. That's not bad at all. I need to reserve 5 for the cruise DH wants to go on this year.

And with him being in the hospital, he's on disability, so he's not receiving any pay! All we're relying on right now is what AFLAC is giving us.

Thank God for AFLAC. What with all these backed up paychecks, we'd probably be completely broke by now if it weren't for them.

Something just seems really screwed up with all this. I think my old boss at the bookstore would be more sympathetic to even just me than FIL is being to the both of us. He took the entire day off yesterday to stay with DH while I was here working. He'd better count that as a sick day. He says that MIL won't be getting paid for any of the days she doesn't come in to work. But I know he's lying. I may do the payroll, but I don't have the authority to override his decision to grant her pay for a week that she doesn't set foot in this building. Although overriding it would be the honest thing to do.

I know I'm probably being completely rediculous and immature about all this, but it really pisses me off.

Ugh. I've given myself a headache.

I really need to start taking better care of myself. Because I was sick for 2 weeks and stressed out about DH for going on 2 weeks, I've dropped 7 or 8 pounds. I'm back to weighing under 100 pounds.

The sick thing is...I love it.

If I have control over anything right now, it's my own weight. It feels really good to not eat because I know the next time I step on that scale, the number will just get lower...and lower...and lower...

Not to mention, I can only manage to eat a few bites before I feel like I'm completely stuffed. I hate feeling full. It makes me feel sick and lazy.

My mom's practically forcing me to eat by passing it on to everyone she knows that I haven't been feeding myself like I should. Every day, people ask me what I've eaten. I don't lie. I just tell them that being stressed out takes away my appetite and I won't eat if I'm not hungry.

There's no scale at my parents' house, so it's a little bit like punishment wondering what it'll say when I step back on when I get home. If I could get down to 95, that would be good.

Gosh, listen to me. I sound sick. My clothes are way too big now and I'm talking about letting myself go even smaller.

All of this stress has gone straight to my head. I think I've lost my mind.

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