I love Christina Aguilera's song called "Hurt". It has beautiful words...beautiful melody...and beautiful accompaniment. The night before I posted the lyrics, DH and I had gotten into a fight and that song was playing in my head nonstop. I'm surprised that someone picked up on the fact that something was going on. I was feeling very guilty for some things I was feeling. I realized that feelings aren't really things for which someone should be ashamed because most of the time, one can't control them. I often find myself feeling guilty (another one of those things out of my control) for my feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I don't think that will ever change until someone realizes that certain things that they say or do make me feel that way. That person doesn't have those kind of feelings, so I don't think that person can even begin to understand what it's like. Therefore, they won't come to that realization.

That fight was short-lived and I'm feeling okay now.

I think DH is suffering from withdrawl from his transdermal patch. I didn't know that his last patch ended on Sunday. He stopped cold turkey. So his body isn't receiving the narcotics at all that he's been receiving for the last 3 months straight. The doctor had told him a while a go that when he goes off the patch, he will have to do it gradually by stopping the patch, but taking percocet everyday, reducing the dose until it's stopped. He hasn't done that and now he's two days into taking absolutely nothing at all and now he's suffering for it. He's complaining of a horrid headache, sore neck and shoulder, achey joints, and some kind of stomach pain that he can't identify. I don't know if those are withdrawl symptoms, but it seems to fit in with stopping the patch.

I'm finding it hard to feel sympathetic because he didn't follow the directions. I don't know if he feels guilty for being on narcotics for so long, but in this case, it was okay because of his chronic pain. He's a silly man.

I'm suffering from my own pain because I have an infected toe. I had this same problem back in 2002, but on the other big toe. I think it went on for a year or so before my wonderful mother forced me to go to the doctor, who then referred me to someone who would then remove both sides of my toenail and kill the root so it won't grow back in those places.

It worked and that foot has been pain free ever since. Now my right big toe is letting me know that something's wrong. I guess it's been this way for 3 or 4 months now. It doesn't start out this bad. It actually started when I had my one and only pedicure. For the life of me I can't remember when that was.

Now my toe is red and swollen and it randomly bleeds and oozes. It hurts to wear shoes now. I'm fed up with it and made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that maybe the doctor can give me antibiotic for the infection and maybe he/she will refer me back to that other doctor who will fix my toe for good! I think my toenail is too wide for my toe and it causes it to get caught on the skin as it grows out. If you think it sounds disgusting...it is disgusting.

I want it to get better so I can wear my new super-cute sneakers!

I also seem to be having some issues with my right breast, which was biopsied twice back in June for some abnormal lumps. The bruises are gone, which is good, but I get twinges of pain deep in the breast that come and go every once in a while. Is that normal? I figure that since a few chunks were taken out of each lump it's probably still healing. But I worry that something like a biopsy can irritate the tissue and cause it to act even more abnormal. I don't know if it's something I should check out or not. I haven't been able to find any useful information online. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

I suppose that's all that's going on. I can't believe it's Halloween already.

I'm happy to report that I've received 7 requests from my d-land folks for Christmas cards. :) I need Miss Moo's address. I used to have a file of all of the addresses from when I sent out postcards, but that file has mysteriously disappeared from my computer!

Keep the requests coming! If you want a Christmas card from me this year, check out that link for details on how to get the info to me.

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